


Miraculous Screwtape

by FabiusMaximus



Category: Miraculous Ladybug, Screwtape Letters - C. S. Lewis
Genre: Demons, Gen, Post Season 3, a bit of salt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-02-18 13:03:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21711199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FabiusMaximus/pseuds/FabiusMaximus
Summary: Screwtape discusses Chloe's current situation with her tempter. An affectionate mix of Screwtape Letters with a slightly less affectionate read on the "Chloe is Irredeemable" comments on the part of the showrunners.
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

My Dear Snobgabble

I note with some displeasure that you have fallen into the very human habit of equating events of importance on the world with those of importance to Our Father Below. Once again, the deficiencies of the Tempters College’s current faculty make themselves known. A battle or war is only important as it advances or hampers Hell’s goals in general and, more specifically how it impacts the progress of your patient. Let Paris be burned or saved a thousand times—it is only of importance in how it impacts the ultimate destination of our patients.

And in that, you have missed several very promising events.

First of all, this event has wiped away much of The Enemy’s slow progress with your patient. Her gradual and uneven road to seeing beyond her own desires has been dealt a near unrecoverable blow. Her “friends” now despise her. She has lost her Kwami. Most importantly, her parents, and especially her mother, the architect of much of her own anger, have seemingly gained everything. Crookbone is responsible for her mother; you may trust that she shall soon revert to type. The Enemy may have permitted her a brief moment of guiltless joy, but now, He will demand real changes in how she sees herself and the world, and she shall flee from that, mandating as it would the willingness to look beyond her own desires and pleasure.

Your patient now has little to occupy her days, save what she did before, taking pleasure in the misfortune of others (Oh, how amusing it is to see these things fit only for consumption attempt to emulate the dignity of Hell!) and wondering what might have been.

And yet, you must be cautious—The Enemy will be at her ear and a fall of this order can bring the quietude that comes from despair—and the Enemy will fill that quiet with his own comforting whispers. Lies, certainly, but we have never been able to find out _why_ He insists so firmly that he loves the vermin. Our intelligence department’s failures are vexing in the extreme.

But now we come to how her former friends may assist our cause. She is, some of our reports claim, seen as _irredeemable_ by those around her. This is excellent news. The human mind, of course, delights in looking down at others, in celebrating their falls. It is the justification for never offering assistance or pretending to love (for it obviously is merely _pretending._ Do not fall into the Heresy that Love actually _exists!)_ the irredeemable one. The fact that The Enemy’s propaganda has made it plain that humanity as a whole is only justified by His Grace, and without that gift, all would be irredeemable, is usually ignored by most humans. 

Thus, we will not have to work to isolate your patient—her associates will do it for you. Those who do associate with her will be exactly who we desire her to meet. They will excuse her behavior, ignore it, or they will flaunt their own fortune in front of her. Done properly, your patient may feel that she has entered Hell _long_ before she comes to dwell with Our Father Below. You will find that the resignation that accompanies such fallen souls provides a particularly delightful flavor to our repasts—so long as you do not lose her at the last moment. Even better, we will arrive at the point where either from anger or resignation, she comes to believe that _she_ is irredeemable, and thus never asks for what the Enemy _claims_ to offer so freely.

Of course, you will have to work with your colleagues, and I will communicate with them the importance of doing so. After all, seeing _others_ as irredeemable is the first step to becoming _truly_ irredeemable. The Tempters College has fallen down on this, as it has many other basic practices, so I will review it for you:

“I’m not as bad as he is.” The phrase has many versions, and is known in every language. It is one of Hell’s greatest weapons, allowing the murderer, the thief and the rapist to walk, content in their place with their heads held high, so long as they can look at someone else who in their view, has done worse. But it can also be used against “heroes.” Your patient is clearly worse than they are, so in addition to treating her as irredeemable, their own tempters can lead them to start viewing their behavior in the light that as long as it is not as bad as your patient’s, it is acceptable. It would be ideal if they were to turn around and treat your patient as she has treated others, justifying it in their own minds. A “hero” who believed in her morality up until her final breath stilled and she opened her eyes to find herself in Hell makes rare sport indeed. Even better, this view will slowly corrupt their entire world view, until their cruelty is the only thing they act on—their mercy remains safely in the abstract, where it will do the Enemy no good and us no harm.

And yet, do not overestimate how quickly this will come to work or mar your progress by moving too fast. The Enemy will also be at their ears, speaking His lies of forgiveness and mercy. Worst of all, as children, the Enemy often sees them as not entirely culpable for their acts. Indeed, until these habits can be hardened, until their dislike for your patient can be used to color how they view all of humanity, their tempters must work to ensure their continued good health. One year or a hundred, it is all the same in the end to us. 

Remember, Snobgabble, that only success is acceptable to Hell, and you will either bring us food, or be food. Furthermore, I will not tolerate anything other than perfection on your part. Far too many tempters have been falling down at the job. Let that fear motivate you, and remember the bounty that you will share in when your patient is safely in Our Father’s arms!

Your Affectionate Mentor

Screwtape.

PS: I have been notified that due to the possible influence your patient’s circle could have on the current conflict, the Lowarchy is monitoring your handling of this situation. Remember that their eye is upon you, as is mine. Do not fail me.


	2. Marinette's Tempter gets Advice...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After all, Chloe isn't the only person who has a personal... case manager. Hell wishes all to come to its eternally hungry arms.

My Dear Slorgbog,

First off, I suggest that you leave off complaints of unfairness. This is Hell, and we have no interest in your excuses. Most especially when your sniveling letter reveals a fundamental lack of understanding about the nature of your patient.

She is a heroine, possessor of the Miraculous of Creation: what of it? You should be anticipating the feast when she is safe in our Father Below’s eternally hungering embrace. Most importantly, she is an excellent candidate for being brought to the cause of Hell. But, as has been my burden in recent years, I must explain a principle that the Tempter’s College should have already made you well aware of: The Martyrs Burden.

First of all, you must understand how much effort Hell put into completely changing the view of the Martyr within human culture. Look into the past, look into the _reality_ of the martyr, and you do not see pride, or joy—you see a trembling thing of slime, bent down before the knowledge that its end is upon it, and worse, that it could _escape_ that end. Sometimes I think that the Enemy must have been observing our own work and improving on it; for little in Hell can match the terror of the the martyr as they face the bitter cup.

But now, look what we have made it! A child’s game. Something to almost be _desired_ , rather than desperately avoided. Comics, cartoons, all the varied media your patient sees makes this into something that she should be _happy_ to embrace, especially with the third act conclusion of all of her friends mourning her sacrifice. How much better than an _ordinary_ life! We have replaced the reality with the fantasy.

That is the first step. But the second is vitally important in ensuring that your patient, the Ladybug, will one day be safely with Our Father Below:

And that is contrasting the dream of the martyr, as something to be desired, with the _reality_ that she experiences. In this, you must understand that the human vermins' existence, unlike the dignified status that we, as spirits, enjoy, is bounded by Time. They experience time as a linear chain of events. To you, this may be difficult to understand, but to a human, especially the immature, every second, every minute is an irreplaceable treasure. Dates, first meetings, are all things to be experienced once—and then lost in memory. Or never experienced, if one is a “hero” and cannot attend them.

Consider everything she has missed. Consider her parents and teachers, all of whom are increasingly pressing upon her the need to improve to change, all of them unaware of her true position. The Ladybug wears the martyr’s crown, has come to see it as the burden it is, and yet does not even get the “cheers” of the crowd that our long work has convinced mankind every martyr receives!

Have you called her attention to this? In the dark watches of the night, or perhaps when she sees her friends attending a theater while she is out saving them, have you forced her to see what _she_ is paying for _their_ welfare? What about when her teacher complains at her poor homework or punishes her for being late? The… I hesitate to call it a profession, more accurately a mockery, where the human vermin attempt to cloak their bodies of slime in fine garments, is very competitive. She has already given up one chance at fame—have you brought it to her attention that she may not have another?

Done ideally, she will see her heroism as a prison, the walls of the world closing in on her, with no escape…

And that brings us to the third step. _Jealousy_. She will be jealous of those who are better off than she is. It is a natural state humans, the product of the Enemy’s unfathomable decision to mix the glory of the spiritual with the muck and mire of the material. But you must bring home that jealousy at every moment. Play up the fact that all who are demanding more of her _benefit_ from her actions, that they do not _pay,_ not as she does. And soon, that jealousy can be hardened into hatred, and will color every aspect of her interactions, no matter whether she is wearing the mantle of the Ladybug or walking down the street. As her hopes and dreams recede into the distance, only her hatred and jealousy will be left.

And once you have achieved that goal, it will only be a matter of time before she comes to Our Father’s House.

But that time is not yet, and I should note that the Enemy will also be moving, perhaps even whispering to her that _she_ must not always bear this burden. What his goals are in permitting the existence of these miraculouses is unknown, but we must be cautious.

In addition, we must ensure that this conflict continues. I have spoken to the tempters in charge of her friends and yes, enemies, and we will be doing all we can to ensure that neither defeat nor victory land at her feet. Victory would end her long burden, and defeat sometimes brings the clarity of thought that the Enemy desires—and that we must seek to prevent at any cost.

But your duty—the only one you should concern yourself with, is hardening both her despair and her jealousy. For by effectively applying both, you can ensure that she will be ours for eternity, and that her horror and despair at her new existence will be a refreshing cup you may lift to your lips as often as you desire.

Remember also the alternative. Bring food to Hell, or become Hell’s food yourself.

Your Mentor,

Screwtape.

PS: Kindly cease cluttering my desk with missives about the exact nature of these “miraculous” battles. What I must know, I learn from sources far better placed than yourself. Your _only_ concern should be the destination of the soul of your patient, not the nature of these ephemeral battles. Some of your letters almost sound _human._


End file.
